17 Dec Ache. Bleed. Love. Repeat.

Lately, I have been feeling disengaged. Granted, I have been gentle with myself as I just returned from Idaho where I enjoyed being in the presence of my blood. I enjoyed the time I spent with my sister’s family and being able to see my dad. My heart was (and is) full of gratitude.

I loved seeing my nephew(s) and am grateful I got to attend an invitation only dinner with my niece as she was recognized for hard work and honors in academics (with multiple scholarships and an acceptance to Idaho State University). My heart swelled wider than my chest as I watched my niece perform in her Allegro Winter Spectacular. I found a love for lyrical dance that matches my love of ballet.

Upon my return I have found myself wanting to embrace womb space as I have been trying to fight off a cold turned sinus infection. I have found myself nesting as the cold weather settles in: Experimenting with nutritious homemade meals full of love, going through pictures and treasures obtained from generations of ancestors collected at my dad’s, spending time with my friend as she discovers the roller coaster of pregnancy…

I have also found myself deep in study: Attending class—starting school again at my age is intimidating but oh, so very exciting! I have been researching mental health: the mind/body/nutrition connection as well as the effects of exercise. I believe an article will be released soon with my findings…

I have been learning about carb intake, cortisol levels, sugar intolerance, A1C readings, Paleo/Clean eating and recipes—studying the benefits of a vegetarian and/or vegan lifestyle, how cholesterol can affect your hormones and the effects of hormone imbalance.

I have been studying wine: I have now found several wines I can enjoy (thanks to the brilliance of a wonderful friend): Frey: Biodynamic, organic, and with very low simple sulfites.

I have been researching spirituality and embracing and honoring my path as recently it would seem the brush has been cleared and the fog has been lifted. I know with certainty where my journey is leading and it leaves me feeling breathless, elated, and has literally brought me butterflies and goosebumps. I believe an article will be released soon talking about intuition, vibrations, and synchronicity…

So, this is me re-engaging. This is me saying it’s time to begin this journey. This is me saying, “It’s time to write your story with a new found clarity”…

Has anyone else noticed that once you have embraced your light and your path that fear and resistance like to hang out nearby with self-doubt looming in the shadows? I am finding they are mischievous little devils that like to manifest themselves in forms of nausea and physical illness – or as Brené Brown calls them: My Gremlins…

So, this is me saying I need to clear my energy space…

“If you want to write & create, you must be the most sublime fool that God ever sent rambling. You must write every day. You must read dreadful books & glorious books, & let them wrestle in beautiful fights inside your head, vulgar one moment, brilliant the next. I wish you a wrestling match with your Creative Muse. I wish craziness, foolishness & madness upon you. May you live with hysteria, & out of it make fine stories. Which finally means, may you be in love every day.” ~ Ray Bradbury