Angels & Demons

When I was younger, I used to spend hours in the library pouring over history and art. I studied paintings and frescoes, trying to understand the primitive need to express the unseen. So many have tried to remove the veil and explain that which they could not fully grasp; namely the angels and demons that live in every soul.
When I got older, I came to understand the world through these images. I learned all I could about ritual and ceremony; the giving back to the earth and our ancestors. I came to truly know the flesh of my flesh; blood of my blood. As I grew older, still, I came to know of profound loss which built an ache in my heart from profound love. I came to understand how from the earth we came and to the earth, we shall all, one day, return.
And so now I carry seeds with me everywhere I go. Bird seed and plant seed to feed the land and the birds. Eggs for the ravens; nuts for the squirrels. Fresh apples, oranges, and pomegranates for the ancestors. I read somewhere of a nation who still leaves biscuits, crumpets, bread, butter, and milk on the windowsill for the fairies and sprites and I yearned to do the same. Whenever I spend time in nature, I do my best to leave her presence sacred; cleaner than whence I came. I find refuge in cemeteries; the sacred reverence of peace which fills my soul. I find it an honor to decorate the graves of those I do not know; yet who have stood vigil as I nourished the grass with the salt of my tears as they began to freely flow…
And to my surprise, I began to receive gifts in return. Feather upon feather, wood, rock, moss, and stone. Trees that would sing as the wind took sail; dancing through her leaves – the maiden in her innocence. Wildflowers painted amidst pink and orange skies. Sunshine hugs, storms that often matched my own interior, and rage that clapped and flashed across the heavens as I howled into the night of my own despair. Seas that kissed sand, and forests that breathed life into my lungs; crisp and pure.
I learned from nature how to let go – how to be vulnerable – as I watched trees get naked each and every fall. From the moon, I learned about cycles and change and how we can still carry a torch of light even when we are no longer full. I learned from the stars that they shine brightest in the darkest of skies; and how no matter – the sun will always rise once more.
I watched as wild horses ran; unencumbered and free. An eagle who glided across the waters edge before flying high above the mountain peaks. Crows that gleefully scream caw caw caw, as though they are calling my name and welcoming me home. Vultures decorating trees once the final leaves have fallen; skeleton of ancient filled with wings of black. Deer, majestic – beautiful, and full of grace. And suddenly, I knew my place. I understood that we were one and the same.
All of Gaia and all of me – for through her wisdom, I learned peace.
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