18 May Blue Flower Scorpion Moon 05/18/2019
Here I was, thinking I wasn’t being very affected by this Full Moon and then BAM! She hit me in my sleep. I had a fit of dreams around my stepmother, my grandma Rogers, and my Dad. (Two of those three have passed). It was like I was still just a misunderstood child where no one ever talked to me or listened – they just spoke AT me. Making me feel that my feelings or needs were unimportant – which translated once upon a time to mean, “you’re not good enough. Your voice means nothing and has no value here.”
I felt trapped; caged. I realize my claustrophobia was never caused by being trapped in small, confined spaces – but rather just feeling trapped in my own world that I couldn’t control. A world in which I was never allowed to have a voice. A world ran and led by fear. A world where I felt myself fade, become invisible, and disappear…
“Today, Saturday, May 18, will see the moon wax to fullness and become what’s known as the Full Flower Moon, named for the springtime blooms we normally see this time of year. This year, it’ll arrive in the sign of Scorpio, a water sign known for its deeply-felt emotions and its preoccupation with darkness and power. If that wasn’t enough, this full moon will also (by some definitions, anyway) be considered a blue moon, since it’ll be the third and penultimate full moon to occur this spring — normally, there are only three full moons per season but spring 2019 will see a whopping four.
In general, the May full moon is spiritually associated with fertility and the potential for future changes, explains Jhenah Telyndru, a priestess in the Avalonian Tradition and author of The Mythic Moons of Avalon. “The seeds we plant in the here and now will determine the yield of autumn’s harvest,” she says, adding that we may need to make personal sacrifices in order to lay the necessary groundwork for success. “This is the work of the May full moon: to look within, to see what our needs are, and then to look ahead to how we can meet those needs in very concrete terms,” Telyndru says.
So, this month’s full moon is already tied to transformation (on a global and personal scale) and it’s placement in Scorpio will only amplify this influence. As I mentioned, Scorpio likes to dwell in the unknown, darker areas of our minds and lives — and the full moon has a tendency to illuminate these parts of ourselves. Of course, Telyndru says, this could be an intensely emotional period for some people. You may discover old desires, feelings, and regrets that you thought you’d let go of, but still linger.
This may be overwhelming, but it won’t be pain just for pain’s sake. “When we shine the light of truth on the deepest, most hidden aspects of ourselves, it is not unusual to experience some discomfort,” Telyndru says, adding that it won’t serve you to shy away from that discomfort. Rather, the Scorpio full moon only highlights what needs to emerge from the shadows in order for your whole self to progress.
If you start to feel bogged down with feelings during this Saturday’s full moon, ask yourself the following questions, Telyndru says: “What parts of ourselves are aching to make themselves known in the world? How can we, like the newly-budding trees, facilitate new growth where before there was stagnation and limitation?”
You might realize that your desires are still relevant — and it’s time to act on them. Or, you may find a new, more productive way to work through those old feelings that once scared you. Whatever comes to the surface during the full moon, just sit with it — doing so will help you figure out what changes you need to make. “Embracing moments of stillness allows us to feel the deepest stirrings of the soul,” Telyndru says. “Listen for the quiet voice of your intuitive self rising up from deep within you — it knows the path that you must take from here.” – Sara Coughlin