25 Aug Moments of Ponder & Clarity
Posted at 23:54h in Opium, Shadows, Surrender 0 Comments
Moments of Ponder & Clarity
– “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” – Michelangelo
Every person is like that block of stone, there’s greatness inside, but it has to be carved out.
– This past week I fell, soul ablaze, from the Tower once more. Only this time, I became conscious of the ability to expand or contract. I found immediate beauty scattered amidst the ashes and rubble. The clarity didn’t come after or once I had time to reflect. The sea of light reflecting from the waters edge caught my attention in the midst of the storm and I was able to surrender. Instead of fighting the undertow and current, I laid on my back as the stars guided my way to shore – until finally I could stand, on solid ground, once more.
– Sometimes, in the madness and chaos of life, I imagine this world being created as the largest SIMS game in the Universe. It often feels like after the great fall of each Tower Moment, we then excel to the next level. Maybe the refrigerator is nothing more than a save point? And then I open my fridge and see the fresh ceviche my husband labored to make in love and I no longer care about the specifics of life. I simply want to indulge and fill my belly with hearts and smiles and everything good and savory this life has to offer. My appetite is not for destruction, but rather, the beauty. Like a flower that rises through the broken lines of concrete. Or the first growth of green after a fire of black has claimed the land. The rainbow that appears after a storm has raged the temperament of the heavens – of the gods. The Phoenix that rises from catacombs of ash – reborn from the flame that consumed its entire being – resurrected from that which claimed its soul.
– I once had a SIMS character walk repeatedly into traffic to take her own life. I watched helplessly as I had neglected her basic needs. The controller would not let me regain control. I watched as she cried and stumbled again and again – until she was gone. Even as her god and creator, I could not save her. For so lost was she in her own despair. GAME OVER flashed in red across my screen. I thought how much truth and sorrow and emptiness we can feel if we don’t claim and celebrate our own survival. Our own basic needs and care. And yet, so many give and give and give until they have nothing left.
Notice the one’s always smiling, always asking how they may hold space, the one’s always working in grace. Because they, too, need someone to cradle their hearts.