06 Nov The Legend of Cassandra | Emotional Maturity & Intelligence
Cassandra was a mortal princess of the city of Troy, for Cassandra was the daughter of King Priam of Troy, and his wife, Hecabe.
Cassandra would grow up to become the most beautiful of all of King Priam’s daughters and as a result she had many potential suitors, both mortal and immortal.
Zeus was of course well known for keeping an eye out for beautiful mortals, but in the case of Cassandra, it was actually his son Apollo who vied for the daughter of Priam.
Apollo is smitten with the beauty of Cassandra and attempts to seduce the mortal princess. To help sway Cassandra, Apollo offers up the gift of prophecy, a gift which Cassandra willingly accepts.
After accepting the gift, however, Cassandra rebuts the sexual advances of Apollo.
Angered, Apollo allows Cassandra to keep her gift of prophecy, with one caveat. Out of revenge, he curses Cassandra so that no one will believe her. No one will listen to her. She has no ability to change what has been foreseen.
Cassandra holds the prophecy of the future, but she is stripped of her power and ability to make an impact – to incite change. Essentially, her gift becomes her curse.
There seems to be a concerning trend on the rise. Where people’s words and behaviors are charged and motivated by emotional immaturity.
I’m not speaking of passion. I’m talking of people who operate from their emotions, presenting as a child, often having tantrums, without the consideration of how their words and actions and behaviors are being imposed on others.
I, of all people, understand having big feelings.
AND, I learned a long time ago that those emotions are mine and mine alone to deal with.
Just because I had a bad day, am in a chronic pain (which can wear down the psyche of even the most stable and positive people), am going through something scary – or whatever the thing it is that’s charging my emotions – does not entitle me to dump and project them on to someone else.
I don’t get to take out my feelings on someone else. Other people were not created to become one’s own emotional punching bag.
I’ve also found that many people argue for the sake of proving one’s opinions or morals or behaviors right, whilst simultaneously attempting to prove someone else wrong. People seem to have a very hard time around communication, disagreement, and divergence.
Conversation should be a point of curiosity. Staying open. Attempting to understand where someone else is coming from. Conversation and discussion shouldn’t consist of lack of respect, crossing boundaries, name calling, shouting, derogatory comments, etc.
An emotionally sovereign person also understands nuances such as consent, respect, and how it’s perfectly agreeable to agree to disagree. Only a narcissist would believe that they are always right, others are always wrong, and therefore the entire world should reflect their opinions and beliefs back to them.
Emotional intelligence and maturity releases the desire to control another person’s opinions, actions, beliefs, outcomes, etc.
Emotional intelligence does not seek revenge or hitch up the wagon called, ‘cancel culture,’ vengeance disguised as accountability, and ride around town square bellowing, boasting, shaming – and essentially quartering someone just because their beliefs or words or behaviors aren’t in sync with someone else’s narrative.
I crave the insights and inner workings of people’s thoughts. This is why I’ve acquired the journals of so many who are now deceased. What a boring world we would live in if we were only ever surrounded by echo chambers.
Humanity is diverse. And that’s fucking beautiful and should be celebrated. We are not a cookie-cutter nation.
I would also like to take a quick moment to remind everyone that every topic doesn’t, nor should it, become a political combat zone. The democracy of America was founded on freedom and individual beliefs and ideologies.
You don’t need to argue, or even proclaim what your beliefs, ideologies, or political preferences are. When you feel strongly, go out and vote. Big issues are decided by the majority. Do something that will actually make an impact.
Actions speak louder than words but, I digress…
I also want to touch, briefly, on the differences between empaths and hsp’s (highly sensitive people). All empaths are technically hsp’s but not all hsp’s are empaths. In the new age rise of spirituality, everyone (including the narcissists) are calling themselves empaths these days.
To put it simply- empaths pick on up energy whereas highly sensitive people pick up on sensory stimuli.
I bring this up as it ties in directly with emotional intelligence. As someone who reads energy as a first language, I find it very off putting when someone refers to themselves as an empath and yet, cannot clearly read the energy of a room.
For instance, say I’m being approached by someone I find to be very emotionally draining. I try to fend off an energetic exchange by saying, “Hi. It’s nice to see you. I’m not in a very good space today,” followed by closing my body sphere – crossing my arms, crossing my legs, turning my body away from them, or making a move towards the door.
And the person, who is a self-proclaimed empath, not reading the shift in energy says, “I’m not doing well either…” and proceeds to then dump whatever energetic bile they need to release into the energetic sphere.
This is not an empath, nor is it an emotionally intelligent, nor mature person. An empath would feel the energy of rejection. They may not understand why, but they will feel it.
An emotionally mature person, with emotional intelligence, would say something like, “I’m sorry you’re not in a good space. Would you like your privacy or are you up for a visit?” #consent
Maybe even, “I’m also not doing well and am needing a sounding board. You don’t seem to be in that space today. Would you call me (or text or come over) when you are feeling emotionally available?”
Do you feel the difference?
An emotionally intelligent person (who is healed) would also understand that the person is not rejecting them, personally, for all time. That instead, the person is simply reigning in their own energy, for the time being.
Side Note: If you consistently take others emotions and behaviors as a personal attack, this is an area of wounding you need to heal. Emotional intelligence says, “this isn’t about me.” It’s an understanding that the other person is working through their own stuff. Once you’ve learned to identify this unhealed piece of codependency based on self worth, it also opens the door to expansive presence. Your presence will shift from panic, paranoia, and defensiveness to a place of openness, spaciousness, problem solving, empathy, compassion, etc.
Emotional intelligence is defined as “the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.”
Emotional maturity is defined as “having an appropriate level of emotional control and expression.”
Emotional intelligence refers to the understanding of emotions, while emotional maturity is the act of applying that knowledge.
Emotionally intelligent people understand how to handle tough situations without unnecessarily escalating them. Thus, emotional maturity is the ability to manage your emotions regardless of the circumstances.
Emotionally mature people accept accountability for their actions. They get out of the blame game for every trigger as they accept responsibility for not only how they feel, but how they process that emotion. They learn to take a pause – to observe versus immediately react.
The collective would hold far less hate and anger and frustration and rage and fear and impulse and abuse if each person learned emotional intelligence and maturity.
The world would be far more kind if people began to look inward – to do the work, to heal their shadow, etc. instead of sitting around as keyboard warriors pointing blame and assigning shame to everyone around them.
Be fucking bold. Be revolutionary. Be so consumed with your own healing that you don’t have time (or energy) to consistently worry about what anyone else is doing.
Also, gossip and assumptions are so infantile and basic.
When we know better, we do better.
Let’s prioritize doing better.
Mary Rogers Glowczwskie