28 Mar The Parkourist
Posted at 01:01h in Shadows, Surrender 0 Comments
In my life I have overcome obstacle after obstacle making me a very good Parkourist.
I spent a great deal of my 20’s auditioning to please others, to be accepted, acknowledged, liked and loved.
There’s something uniquely and tragically beautiful that came out of this. I got to try on a lot of costumes – play a lot of roles and had many journeys that became adventure.
My 30’s brought growth and awareness. I was tired of living life for someone else. I wanted to taste my own freedom and joy. I wanted passion, play, knowledge, and everything I had ever suppressed.
My mid-30’s, were about profound transformation, deep growth and inner-awareness. These years were about inner dialogue and learning to love every aspect of myself. Self-expansion.
They were about falling truly madly deeply in love with another. It was about finding family, connection, and tribe.
They were about tragedy and loss that left me completely shattered and undone. They were the years of questioned madness, grief that struck like shards of glass, and the years of my complete awakening…
They were the years I never could have prepared for. They brought about a feeling of love that runs deep. They brought compassion and ease. These years forced me to slow down both physically and mentally and drink in the beauty all around me – to taste the joy and liberation that was just around the bend. If only I would step out of my own way and surrender. Stop trying. Simply trust. Don’t force. Don’t convince. Stop being and just be. These years taught me to forgive. To walk in my purpose. To find passion. To catch fire and #rise.
This year I turned forty. I look forward to what is yet to come. Meanwhile, I am the happiest I have ever been. My heart has grown wider than the world. I feel connected to my roots. In love. I feel good about who I am and am clear on what I want.
There’s something very liberating at this age. I feel as though I’ve come out of another chrysalis – free and ready to spread my wings. It’s a confidence I’ve never known. It’s fully embracing my divinity – inching towards crone.
There’s a deep wisdom, a knowing, an understanding. It’s no longer about looking for external validation of my worth. It’s about fully embracing becoming and being a woman. It’s about relishing my femininity.
It’s about having a heart wide open and bleeding love; bleeding heart. It’s about being real, being raw, being 100% fucking authentic. It’s about being soft and tender – being vulnerable and being seen. Not in the look-at-me kind of way, but rather the look into my heart and soul, this is my story, you’re-not-alone kind of way…
I no longer feel a need for drama, discourse, disagreements or arguments. I feel at peace and in harmony with nature, Mother Moon, Grandmother Willow – everything cyclical and in season…
I feel like the Raven, expansive wings taking flight. The freedom and wind of open sky. Excitement bubbles – tummy full of butterfly.
You’ve heard, “You’ve seen my descent now watch me rise,” but I have risen and now I fly!